“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.” Bertrand Russell
It’s been a perpetual summer and at last autumn is here. Change in seasons should bring adjustments not only to nature, but to my life. Can’t recall having a year or semester like this- EVER! It seems that there isn’t enough time to accomplish and meet all the demands. True, some of those demands are self-imposed, but have to be done.
This glorious Sunday I awoke with the thought of “time”. My days need to be 48 hours long so I can accomplish what I believe is what I need to live for. To me, time is also relative. Like the waves of the ocean, always present, ever-lasting, renewing, washing away the imprints in the sand, in order to clean the slate, so are the hands on the clock. I am trapped in an hour glass, like an animal in captivity (in a concrete jungle) racing against time. The calendar is a vicious stalker- ever present and undesirable.
The thoughts of this Sunday were of things for me to accomplish; to target my regrets, and perhaps un-do them. I want to be a writer. I want to publish, even if it’s a short story. I want to know what I’m doing; write of where I am, where I’ve been and what I don’t want to be or do and simply explore.
“It’s never too late to late to create that life that you deserve” has been stuck in my head for several days now. Life is a cliché sometimes, perhaps a tag line. Question is: what is my game plan? It’s never too late to do accomplish many things. Anything is possible. Have to rip the band aids off and carry on.
This also creates a philosophical conflict. Do I really believe that I am entitled to more than what I have and that there’s something else out there that I “deserve”?
My mind is all over the place.
No comments:
Post a Comment